Work Misunderstandings

The title for this post can be confusing so let me explain. Most people when they think of work or their job they think of something they put effort - in some cases- and then get something monetary in return. Ever since I had Alex I have been asked multiple times whether I'm back to work. Most people that know me know that I love what I do, I love being a therapist and have enjoyed working as such (most days haha); I do feel very blessed with having a career that I enjoy and have the skills to be able to do a decent job at it. That being said, it seems that most people think or believe I'm just dying to go and work part-time or believe that I'm already working since Alex is almost 8 months and always start their conversations with me by asking me whether I'm back to work. Conversations have been awkward to say the least they go something like this: - So, are you back to work yet? - Not really, only some hours on Saturday - Oh so what do you do during the week? - I stay with Alex at home - Oh Silence. End of conversation. AWKWARD. Sometimes the conversation even ends earlier when I tell them I haven't gone back to work part-time like I used to. When this happens I can't help but wonder WHEN DID BEING A MOTHER BECOME DOING NOTHING?! Seriously, it feels like a social expectation, almost obligation, for me to go back to work as soon as Alex is older because otherwise what do I do with my time? Again, this is not to offend any working mothers out there whether by decision or obligation, this is just about my experience as someone who has decided to stay home and work only occasionally. I believe our current culture has devalued motherhood to such a degree that is not even considered a sort of work. But goodness it is! Unpaid work! At least monetarily. So yes I believe most people have completely missed the point of what work entails and definitely the hard work it is to be a mother. Now, I know some people work because we're not just mothers we're women with needs. I have felt that some people believe I need to go back to work to fulfill those needs because otherwise motherhood is simply not enough. Wrong again. I can have those needs fulfilled on my own time and with my the complete understanding that I need time to take care of self but also being realistic that taking care of self no longer involves hours and hours for me alone because Alex takes most of that time. If this post seems unorganized, well it probably is, as I'm still trying to wrap my head around my experiences and how they have made me feel. It has definitely been uncomfortable to say the least, and I can't help but feel judged at times. I'm sure some mothers out there can resonate with this. I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have to be both a mother and a therapist, but I cannot regret my decision to be first and foremost a mother. Yes, sometimes I would much rather be doing therapy as I know that would be easier than facing some of the difficult situations with Alex - like all this past week Alex teething= very tired, stressed out momma!- but I stick with it because he only has one mom and that's me! I feel the heavy responsibility of those words and while I know that I could be helping many people outside the walls of my home the truth is I know there are other people who can and will do that, Alex only has one mom and one dad. I feel the heavy burden but also the honor of having such a spot. So let there be pride in saying we're mothers and not out of obligation but because we chose to.