Dear friends,
As my title clearly explains more discipline is necessary to keep an updated blog. I found that I hadn't done it in almost a year because it was definitely not in my priority list. As things slow down and I find myself with more time (but somehow equally tired and same level of stress) I thought that it would be therapeutic to write some things. Life continues to go by fast as days blend into weeks, and weeks into months. For quite some time I had felt that if I slowed down I might get a heart attack! Needles to say I was wrong. Mondays are usually days of reflection for me as I have more time to ponder and continue to have a relationship with my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and myself. It has been a time of immense growth and trials. But I will say that I have come to know myself, but more importantly love and respect myself more than I had done in the past. I have been thinking about the concept of power and how powerful I have been feeling as of late. Let me be clear, by power I do not mean the common mistake of confusing respect with fear, or abuse. I mean the sort of power we receive when we are in the "Lord's errand." As some of you readers might know (my wonderful husband and beloved MFT cohort) last year past ghosts came back with a firm resolution to attack and attempt to destroy my beauty and inner peace. It was a long, heart-wrenching battle, but I realized that I was able to gain power because this is something I needed to do. I had this battle at the precise time I needed to have it, with the right people, and at the right place. As one of the books I'm currently reading states "sometimes, the Lord sends His blessings in such a highly unlikely, dramatic, or precisely timed manner, that it might be likened to a 'divine signature.' It is as though the Lord signs the blessing personally so that we will know with certainty that it comes from Him." The interesting point is that the blessings he describes in the book most often come in the form of a trial or a problem. I have come to understand this as I have armed myself with the things I know to be true and went to the battlefield promising myself I wouldn't give up until it was done. It is still not over, but the enemy is retreating and I have gained more than territory but a firm testimony of the power that is given to us when we do something difficult, especially when we believe it is not possible. I have been blessed with angels who fought by my side and never failed to believe in me. Most importantly, although there were times when I had chosen to weaken my belief in my Savior, He NEVER stopped believing in me. Now, I'm determined to never stop believing in Him either. At this time, I want to promise that His hand is ever stretched for all of those who choose to believe. He never leaves, He always believes. I'm grateful for the wonderful life I have been given, for having a wonderful husband who has always believed in me as well, and for know believing more in me, in truly seeing the beauty amidst the scars, of being proud of the times I have fallen but managed to go on. This is true happiness for me, and it is undeniable.
