Priorities: The touch of a tiny hand

I have been thinking about this post for a very long time as this event happened about a month ago. It happened during one of Alex's first feedings, I can't quite remember if it was his first or second but definitely an early one. Things usually run smoothly and he will eat and then go to sleep. Once in a while things are different. This time he decided to stop in the middle of his feeding to simply look around. For some reason this was beyond frustrating for me. I immediately started thinking "great! now it will take him longer to eat which means he will nap later which means..." and there I went spiraling down my day and how it was going to absolutely mess up his entire schedule and mine, all of my list of priorities felt like they were going down the drain. I think we've all been there, one event seems to determine everything and we find ourselves thinking of all of the negative things that will for sure happen for the rest of the day. I was thinking of all these sequences of negative events when my thoughts were completely interrupted by a feeling of softness on my right arm. I looked down as I had been looking up as if pleading for some mercy from above, and I saw my sweet little boy completely focused running his fingers up and down my arm. I was completely overwhelmed by his tenderness and how with a simple touch from those tiny fingers he had managed to stop my never-ending sequence of negative events. There was a silent voice inside my head that whispered "this is your priority right now, enjoy the moment." I quickly forgot about all the things that I previously thought of as priorities for that day and found myself relaxed just being pampered by my little one. This event alone helped me change my view of priorities, and how fluid they truly are. Sometimes I'm the absolute worst at enjoying little moments like this because I'm the kind of person that's always thinking about what's coming next, my "priorities." I have come to understand that a priority can be a moment, just like the one I experienced, and that it's more than ok to let go of the priorities we had figured out for that day. I learned many things from this experience I learned more about patience, kindness, tenderness, and love, among others. However, I will say that I learned the most about how a priority can become a moment, and that it is truly up to us to just sit back and enjoy it. Alex hasn't done that since that one day, and let me tell you that I miss the feeling I experienced while I felt the touch of his tiny fingers, nevertheless, I'm grateful that I listened to that small voice and that I made that moment a priority, enjoyed it and allowed it to fill me. I go back to that moment whenever I feel overwhelmed or simply need to feel better. That moment that I first dreaded has become a bit of a treasure to me. I find that I have many of those such moments, I try to stop, interrupt my thoughts and remember "this is your priority right now, enjoy the moment."