Learning: Takes time

Alex finished his swimming lessons a bit over a week ago. For two whole weeks we went to Provo rec center with the pretty new, albeit sort of cold, pool for half an hour of splashing, bubbles, and of course crying. Let me start by saying that a few days before his lesson I was looking through some of the videos I had on my cell phone when he was younger; from before he started crawling, to crawling, standing up and then walking. I was getting emotional in seeing how many facial expressions he used to do, and I had forgotten, to how much he has grown and learned in a few months. I was in the middle of all these thoughts when I noticed something, in some of the videos I was very enthusiastically trying to get him to accomplish something. Pushing him to crawl, to stand up, or to walk. I don't believe there is anything wrong with encouraging our children to accomplish something, but for whatever reason this made me feel really uncomfortable....almost sad. It dawned on me that I was so busy trying to encourage him to the next step that I had missed the beauty of the now, and had not necessarily honored his own timeline for learning. It was a sad realization for me, but absolutely essential for what was about to happen in a few days.

We got to his swimming lessons and within five minutes he started crying, he clearly did not want to be there. I looked around and noticed that aside from what looked like an 8 month old baby, he was the youngest one, and yes the only one crying that loud. At that moment I had a choice to make, I think given my nature, it would have been extremely easy to try to push him to get used to it, and even get annoyed; but given what I had just experienced I determined that I would enjoy the now, after all in 4 or 5 years he will no longer cling to me like that when he's in a pool, and find comfort resting his head on my shoulder. I thought that perhaps by the end of the lessons he would get used to it, but even if he didn't I wouldn't push it and honor his own learning curve.

The days went by and some were easier than others, he never fully went a full lesson without crying for a bit - I don't blame him that water was kinda cold and I had to put him underwater at least once per lesson. I think as moms it is very easy to compare our kids with other kids. Some kids in there were having a great time, granted they were older, but it was easy to see that they had very different personalities than my Alex. My precious little boy is the sensitive kind, it takes him some time to warm up to new things, he is sensory driven, and does not mind letting me know when he's uncomfortable or scared. I wouldn't trade any of these things for anything else, that's who he is, that's my Alex.

Alex loves music, and I could tell that he was really enjoying himself whenever we would sing a song, or gave him a "buddy" for him to chase around the pool. It was wonderful to enjoy the now, the beauty of his own learning time, and not feel the pressure that he should be some other way....because he doesn't. Like I said, the day will come when he will throw himself in the pool and not even look back at me, and I will miss these swimming lessons and the way he found comfort in my voice and holding me close. My precious boy, you teach me so much!

Proof that learning takes time, HIS TIME: Right after cutting his hair in which he didn't cry at all and learned what a sucker is. The last couple of times he had cried non-stop. My boy is growing!